29 May 2012

Anyone want to share?


Hello to the select few who read my blog!

I have asked before, but am making another plea - this one is dancing on the fringes of being empassioned - for any folk out there who either sleep separately themselves, or know of others who do, who would be willing to be interviewed for my book.

I now have a looming deal with a publisher and need more material for the book, so am keenly interested in talking to more separate sleepers.

You, or your friends/acquaintances/work mates/relatives, don't have to sleep separately all the time; the separateness may be a part-time arrangement, or a sometimes arrangement.

I am willing to email questions, or phone for a chat - whatever is convenient.

So if there's anyone who would like to share..... get in touch on

                  jennyadams007@gmail.com



20 May 2012

If only....

As part of the ongoing research for my book, I trawl through many, many websites. Yesterday I was poking around on YouTube and came across a video from The Better Sleep Council that renders my whole thesis and reason for writing redundant. Oops.




If only……!!!

If only I could have the same the Pollyanna approach to my problems of sleeping with my husband.

If only they had not recognised that you might want to possibly move to another room if ear plugs don’t work if you sleep with a snorer in a 'very-fast-blink-and-you’ll-miss-it' kind of way. 

If only I didn't quite like their sleep facts chart I could be a bit more dismissive.

And if only I didn't triple love this offering in their Press Resources Artwork section!



Finally, if only, I could change the logo to suit my thoughts on the issue......




If only I could say 'thank you The Better Sleep Council' for helping me find my voice in a quirky logo and 5 mins on Photoshop.


(PS     If only Lissa could spell her name sensibly)
(PPS   If only Zombieitis was a real word)



10 May 2012

Tooting your own horn

An advertisement for Ikea caught my eye the other day. God bless the Swedes.

The ad was two alternating panels down the left-hand size of a website and they caught my eye.



The images both resonated with, and highly entertained me. Farting in bed - is there anything worse?

If forced (gun to head, about to shoot my cats as well, blah blah blah....) to choose between a snoring or a farting partner to share a bed with, I would choose snoring. Without getting into capitals and bolding text, I hate being forced to smell someone else's farts. And I hate it even more when it's in bed.

The even more galling part about it being in bed is the hilarity that my partners, current and past, have had and still do take from the act. And it's not just my partners who find it hilarious, most men tend to and an array of euphamisms have emerged over years and cultures to add even more humour (please, oh please let my sarcasm be evident) to the practice:

For your edification and enlightenment:


Fartin in da spoon
When you are with someone in bed, (spooned together) and one farts.
Warm the bed
The act of farting in bed in order to provide a more inviting environment for one's partner
Dutch oven
While lying in bed with another person, pulling the covers over someone's head while breaking wind, thereby creating an unpleasant situation in an enclosed space
Middle Eastern Steamer
When a person of middle eastern descent farts under the covers in bed then pulls the covers over their partners face to breath in and enjoy the aroma
Summer Breeze
A Summer Breeze is the act of farting in bed, fanning it at your partner with the sheets while singing Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts
Hermit Crab
Where a single person, lies in bed, passes gas and then pulls the covers over their own head to enjoy their own essence.

While I have heard of (and experienced far too many times) a dutch oven, the other terms certainly formed a cultural learning from me.

So, some questions.

  1. Why are farts funny?
  2. Why do men in particular find farts funny?
  3. Why are they funnier in bed?
  4. Why does anyone think that it's ok to fart in bed when another person is trying to sleep?
  5. Why is it ok to kill yourself laughing when you fart in bed with another person in there?
Final questions on this topic.

  1. Who thinks the Sultan pocket spring mattress from Ikea would go anyway to improving the lot of those who sleep with brazen farters?
  2. Why do I like to sleep in my own bed and my own room?

And so I leave you with the immortal words of Donna Summer.... "Toot toot, beep beep."

02 May 2012

Wakey wakey!

How do you like to be woken in the morning? Being lovingly gazed upon by George Clooney on D. Porthault bed linen, listening to Riva boats ferry the rich and beautiful between the shores of Lake Como? Or is that just me?

How we wake, or how we choose to be woken can have a big impact on the relative success of the day ahead. I'm not suggesting this happens all the time, but I'm confident we've all been there.

The methods by which people choose to wake will be many and varied. Us separate sleepers have the luxury of not only choosing the method, but changing it whenever and 'why-ever' we want.

I have written before about the app that I use called Sleep Cycle. This app monitors my sleep patterns throughout the night (I am still COMPLETELY addicted to reviewing them first thing every morning - 75 days after the purchase) and wakes me gently, and caringly, depending on which stage of the sleep cycle I am in. As well as being totally taken by seeing what I got up to during the night, I like the fact that I can snooze a criminal number of times, before my phone eventually says "Enough" and starts vibrating.

(Admission - I can sometimes be heard talking to my phone when it stirs me for the 10th time with it's gentle 'Forest glade' alarm sound. Unilateral conversations of "yeah, yeah", "alright, I heard you", "I know it's time to get up" and "oh shut up" are not uncommon on the mornings of sub-7-hour sleeps.)

So what do the couples who share a bed do when they don't have the same desires when it comes to being aroused from slumber?

I had a boyfriend who wanted to be woken by TripleM on the radio every morning. For the non-Australian readers, click the link and the stories adorning the front page should give you a pretty good indication of the station's target audience. As I link through this evening, here's what's on offer....


If you like naked women and women kissing other women, then you have arrived at your dream radio station. But I digress. The main issue I had was that it is a hard rock station, on which a lot of "great rock hits from the 80s, 90s and now" were played. Quite simply, I kinda hate great rock hits from most eras. For the record, I mostly listen to Triple J - for mine, it's just a little more cerebral and interesting.

So back to the sleeping and the waking..... I can't tell you how many times I was wrenched from my sleep by a mid-40s, gravelly male voice, screaming unintelligible lyrics. I hated it. I would be cranky, and even more so, when I knew the boyfriend took perverse pleasure in knowing it annoyed me. This is just one of the myriad of reasons he is a past tense person.

Some folk wake up in the morning and bound into each day with a vim and vigour that is admirable. I am at the other end of the scale - hence arguing with an app on my phone - and I know there are others like me, who like to gently mosey on in to the day, quietly gathering their thoughts about the adventures awaiting us.

When you sleep with someone who has a different approach to greeting each new day, it can be a struggle to arrive at a mutually accepted method of waking.

So for those who may be struggling with their choice of wakening devices, consider this great app. And the bonus is, it comes with a funky gadget.

Before watching the video of the device in action, check out the great 'Sleep Tip' video the designers of the app have made. This one is #6 - The Cranky Girlfriend.



The app is the Lark alarm and sleep monitoring system. Click here to check out all the deets - or enjoy the YouTube video with at least better acting than the differently weighted duvet videos.



(Was v excited to see some Ikea cushions on the bed that I have too - the brown spotty ones.)

Is this the solution you have been looking for?

Until the morning then, I bid you a good night.